It’s been three weeks since my last post, which was also a Journal entry. I’ve calmed down a lot since then, as I’ve learned to let myself relax more. Although I still have the urge to plan things way ahead of time and make lists of things I feel like accomplishing, I don’t feel as compelled to act on it like I did before. The one thing I still need to work on is allowing myself to just do things at random. I still struggle to let myself have downtime that isn’t planned. Simple things like picking something random on Netflix to watch when I have nothing to do is still difficult for me but I don’t do things I don’t want to do just to feel a form of productivity anymore. I don’t try to keep up with everything as much as before since I know that I just can not do it all by myself.
A week or so ago, I wanted to get back into the flow of things. The world isn’t going to stop for me, I thought, and it hasn’t. However, I was so worried about falling into the same patterns as before. Now, although that’s still a concern of mine, I’m so much more confident that I won’t now than I was before. I’ve been stockpiling ideas for articles and projects and I feel confident that I’m in a healthy enough frame of mind to accomplish them. This blog is actually me starting to get back into the swing of things. Hopefully, this will continue from this point on. If not, I’ll try again. I will say that I still haven’t talked to anyone medically about my sleeping, anxiety, and neurosis issues yet but that’s one of the things I am planning to get done.
Just to give a bit of a preview of things, I plan to write a new Game Pitch on Resident Evil 7, I’m playing through The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD for review for Middle of Nowhere Gaming, I want to start streaming again on Twitch, and I want to start a brand new in depth gaming review show on YouTube. I probably won’t be able to do the YouTube show for at least a month but perhaps it’ll be sooner. I also have plans to do more things but I’ll leave that in the dark for now. I feel good; I feel positive. Some days are better than others, but I accept that as an inevitability until I am able to get help, which may take quite some time. Well, that’s all from me. Peace and Love, Brothers and Sisters. Colorwind out.
I have been dealing with my sleep issues sans pills for a week now as well as realizing that I may have some anxiety and neurosis issues. I think I need to write in a long format my thoughts and progress with this as of now. I’ll prefix this by saying that I haven’t seen a doctor about anxiety or neurosis so there could be a chance that I’m overreacting to perhaps being just stressed or sleep deprived. I’m not sure if I’d prefer to be wrong or to have a clinical word attached to how I feel and think. Regardless, this is what I’ve come to understand for the time being so far.