Discussing: Opening Up to Sexuality

83110497Sexuality is becoming more and more accepted as a topic of discussion to have more openly and readily. However, it is by and large still taboo and many still feel uneasy discussing it. It’s strange as it seems like sexuality is a topic that’s supposed to be okay to talk about openly but in practice is still embarrassing and uncomfortable to discuss. I’ve been open minded about sexuality since I’ve been very young, having been curious and learned about sex and sexuality from health books and various other sources. So it surprises me when the topic of sexuality in some form comes up and I’m willing to have an open conversation about it while those around me start to noticeably become uncomfortable; their body language shows them guarding themselves and closing up. It’s a real shame that there’s still this feeling of nervousness around sexuality.

From a certain perspective, I can understand this. Sex can be a very personal action and many are quick to take any discussion about sex personally. If something like anal sex comes up in a conversation, it’s easy to quickly go on the defensive and claim you don’t do that or have not been able to and wouldn’t know anything about it. Sexual acts that are considered to be more adventurous will often get these kinds of reactions. Oddly enough the only sex act that isn’t considered to be more adventurous is missionary and maybe butterfly position. Anything else has negative connotations if it’s discussed. You’re a whore or a bad boy if you do doggy style, or so its said. So maybe other people do that kind of thing but not me.

I personally don’t think this kind of slut shaming or mentality in general is a good thing but regardless of how you feel about that, you shouldn’t take sexuality discussions personally. More people should allow the conversation to happen without assuming that they’re an example of said conversation. Sex is and can be personal but the conversation shouldn’t be. After all, this limits the general knowledge of these different positions or other aspects of sex. Most people don’t know that entering from behind typically means more g-spot stimulation or lesbians aren’t just scissoring all the time.

But what about when it does become personal? What about conversations among friends and maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend comes up and they’re in the same room as your sex life comes up? Sexuality is something that we should discuss in a responsible and respectable manner and if it’s about yourself directly, who better than your friends to discuss that with? Who else would you talk to? Now I’m not saying you should tell them about how your partner does oral sex or how weird their privates look or something really detailed and crass like that. However, I am saying that if you want to do something special for them and you are looking for ideas or you are having trouble with a certain sex act or position, you should feel comfortable speaking to a friend that you know would take it seriously, and have an adult conversation about it. Sexuality can be and is a very emotional topic and someone like a friend that you trust and hold in high esteem would be able to talk about this. Even if you don’t have a problem you need solve, you should go to a friend or a group of friends and be able to talk about sexuality to broaden your perspective.

We live in a time where men are opening up to be more emotional, women are broadening their professional aspirations, and everyone is open to different expectations to where they should be professionally and emotionally at certain stages in their life. However, sexuality is still a hard subject to talk comfortably about. Different sexual orientations are a big subject nowadays and although we have come a long way from shocking homosexuals to cure their mental disease, we still have a long way to go and it’s not hard to see why. We still have trouble talking about what we and others like us do in our own bedrooms. The more accepting we are to the topic of sexuality in practice, the more we can accept other ideas in the topic, better our outlook, and stop looking at sex as nature’s dirty little secret. Beside, sex is awesome. Why wouldn’t you want to talk about it?


So what do you think about sexuality? Do you agree that we should be more open to discussing it? Do you feel that sexuality is discussed enough or too much? Who do you think would be appropriate to discuss sexuality with? Let me know your thoughts on discussing sexuality in the comments. Peace and love, brothers and sisters! Colorwind out.

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