I don’t know why today of all days has inspired me to write a journal entry but here we are. I woke up late, almost noon. It’s been nice sleeping in lately as I had a busy week, a busy Tuesday really, I’m trying to recover from. After checking my email, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, Vine, and Feedly accounts (probably Google+ too), I watch a couple of YouTube videos.
However, that gives way to me going our of my den of a bedroom and into the living room. My mother Cynthia is away visiting her friends so the house is all for me. I now have the chance to sit on our new couch for an extended period of time and relax. So I curl up and turn on Pokémon on Netflix but at first I have trouble calming down.
I keep thinking about work, about the podcast recording later, wondering if I should play a game instead since that would give me more of a sense of accomplishment. I start to pace the floor and willingly let my mind drift from one thought to another. “Should I do this, should I do that?” However, I can’t make up my mind but instead of resolving to make a decision, which is often my reaction to this, I don’t. I decide to not make a decision and let what’s already going on, Pokémon on the TV, happen instead. The lazy route wins.
So I open the curtains and blinds in the living room, open the side door to let more sunlight and air in and plop down on the couch. Somewhat slowly, I finally start to relax. There’s a nice breeze coming in from outside and the sun is out and bright. The couch is comfortable and the show is entertaining. I feel a calm that I haven’t felt in awhile. I’m enjoying myself in one of the most purest ways that I’ve felt in a long time.
As the day winds down and I’ve watched Pokémon for a few hours, I start thinking of playing Pokémon X. So I bring my 3DS over but the battery is almost dead. So I plug it in and wait for it to charge. I don’t mind waiting and I don’t plan to play to feel accomplished anymore. I just want to have a good time. I want to enjoy myself. I still think about the podcast but now I feel better about it, more freer. No longer do I think of it from a structural perspective, thinking of what needs to be done, from researching news topics we’re going to discuss to what I’ll talk about for the past week. Now I’m thinking of how fun it’ll be.
Eventually, I stop watching Pokémon and take a shower so that I may look presentable for the podcast. However, most everyone bails on the podcast and it winds up being cancelled. I end up writing to them all about being consistent with the podcast and talking about ways to change the podcast so that can be achieved. However, afterward, I go back to the living room and resume watching Pokémon. Cynthia returns as the sun goes down and I help out by opening and closing the gate for her. She brings back In-N-Out and the burger tastes so good, despite it actually looking kind of sloppy, that I could’ve eaten another.
Today was a good day and it’s all thanks to me allowing myself to be a good day. Recently, I feel like there’s so much for me to do, both personally and professionally, that I focus too much on accomplishing things. Even in my spare time, I focus on accomplishing things that are fun. I need to not accomplish things sometimes and let my mind relax. Tomorrow, work starts again and I feel optimistic that I can complete what I need to do well and still have time to relax. I need to reconnect to the inner hippie in me. No time to start than now. Until next time, Peace and Love, my brothers and sisters.