Colorwind Reviews Armed and Dangerous

What!? You’ve never heard of this game? What’s wrong with you? Have you been living under a rock for the past eight years? Do you even speak our language? This is the response you would probably get in a parallel universe where Armed and Dangerous is the biggest game on planet Lucarious, where hot dogs are illegal, women glow green when aroused and gas is $2.50 a bushel. Obviously, most people have not played Armed and Dangerous but should you? A game by LucasArts and Planet Moon Studios in 2003 for the PC and Xbox, is it even worth your time? Abso-maybe.

Right off the bat, I’ll tell you that the gameplay is typical third person shooter fair. What sets this game apart and what makes it worth mentioning is the zany weapons you’ll get. The guns in this game are the best ever created by mankind since some cave dude figured out that the flickering red and yellow light was burning the hell out of his finger. There’s a shark gun that shoots sharks, that will then go underneath the terrain and attack a series of enemies from below like Jaws. There’s a bomb that turns the whole level upside down and the enemies die when they come crashing down back to earth. Other weapons range from the typical sniper and machine gun to a black hole and jet pack. Gameplay is repetitive as hell but you can’t argue with a FUCKING SHARK GUN!

Another aspect worth mentioning is your teammates. You can have them attack or hold a position. The controls are pretty basic but effective. This actually makes this game remind me of Freedom Fighters, if anyone remembers that game. Graphics are a cartoon like style and it serves the game well. Sound is pretty well done too as enemies will scream out in comedic ways as they’re catapulted off the ground after a big explosion. Nothing too impressive but it works for the game.

The best part of the game though is the story, specifically the cut scenes. The story isn’t Shakespeare but this game is truly funny. The characters are well designed and interesting. There’s also cool Star Wars jokes and a lot of well done crude humor. One of the characters gets jammed up an animal’s ass. There is a tea drinking robot. I can’t make this stuff up. The game follows a group of ragtag outcasts as they try to save their land from the tyranny of the evil king. The king sends his retarded son to stop them, and hilarity ensues. All of the voice over work is great and the comedic timing is impressive.

So here’s the problem. You have a relatively mediocre game with an interesting hook and funny characters and story. Should you play it? If you’re a big fan of third person shooters, yes. You can get it on Steam for $10. Everyone else should just watch the cut scenes on YouTube.

Final Verdict: 3 out of 5


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