Okay seriously. How did people play the old PlayStation Resident Evil games? I cannot control the characters to save my life. The tank controls are so awful. I mean, really, really, REALLY, awful. So terrible.
I’ve always been interested in the Resident Evil games. I had a friend named Mark when I was around ten years old and still living in Whittier. He was a big fan of the games and I remember he had played through Resident Evil 2 and Director’s Cut multiple times. At one point, I remember he lent me Resident Evil 2, specifically telling me I should start as the girl (Claire, I think is her name), but I could never get into the game. The main reason for this is because Resident Evil genuinely scared me. A zombie dog would break through the window, and scare the shit out of me. Which brings me to another problem. When something would scare me, I’d freak out and shoot it until after it was dead and me trying to make sure it’s dead. Therefore, I’d run out of ammo and then I would be screwed.
Now, I’m older and I still scare easily but I’m curious now so I downloaded the ISO for Resident Evil 3 Nemesis for the PSone emulator I have. I cannot play this game. The controls are ass. Kathy Bates’ ass. I’m trying to collect things and I have to turn Jill just slightly to collect an item. I have to confirm every time I grab something. Running is the square button for some reason and to turn, you have to either press left or right and that’s really slow or you press down and square together which is awkward. Jill won’t move in the direction you press on the d-pad. Jill moves forward only by pressing forward and you need to turn Jill to go in another direction. How is this a good idea when you need to run away from zombies, including one named Nemesis who is constantly chasing you?
Now I’m no longer scared of that game. I’m just super frustrated with it. I’ve given up and have deleted it from my hard drive. Maybe one day, I’ll have the notion to get it again and try it and actually enjoy it. However, for my PSone games, I’m going to stick to Tekken, Twisted Metal, and the like for now.